I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
