He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
