1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
