What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
the condom got lost in my hair
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
