the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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