I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
