well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
