It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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