What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
