Yo dont text me then not text me
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
