i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
