i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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