I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
