oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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