I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize