11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You're so nebulous sometimes
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm too high and old for this...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
