I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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