Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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