my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
