omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Say something about gay babies.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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