he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
How's work?
Spinning.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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