He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
