Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
