is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
my poor anus
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
