dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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