I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
