**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
