11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
