He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
