i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize