what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You pole danced in your parka.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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