So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
