Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
