Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
you would pick up someone in the library
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
