I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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