I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize