problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
