Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
