Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
