i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
