This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize