i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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