I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
