If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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