I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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