but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
