If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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