You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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