We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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