the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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