Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
