Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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