just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
