you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
