she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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