Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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