i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize