Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize