hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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