I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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