I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
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