So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My dick has a subreddit
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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