I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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